With or Without You
by DiscoUnicorn
Summary: Ulquiorra laments Halibel.


Hey!! :) I don't own Bleach or any of the Bleach characters. 3

He was alone. The darkness of the room reverberated from the walls and crushed the very thoughts he held. His finger trembled slightly as he reached up to touch the place on his cheek he knew a trail of green was. It was her favorite part of him. He dropped down into the chair Aizen-sama had claimed as his own for so long. The air in his lungs escaped him as he glanced at the moon shining in through a small window. He missed her.

His orders were to protect to fort while his master was away. The fort meant very little to him now that there was no one there for him to serve. His green eyes fell upon the fraccion creeping into the room. She gave him a large smile and wrapped her thin arms around her petite body. Her right hand slowly snaked up until it played with a few of the blonde strings. Ulquiorra stood and slid his hands into his pockets. The tenseness of his body subsided once he felt the familiar softness.

"Ulquiorra-sama! Ummm…when will Stark-san be back?" That's who she was. Ulquiorra took a step forward and stared at the young face of the girl with blank eyes. She blushed and looked at the floor quickly.

"I don't know." He turned his back to her and stared at the bland whiteness of the wall. For all he cared, the load of them could die and never return. He flinched slightly at the thought. No, that would never work. She was with them. "What?" He realized that the girl still stood in the room.

"Can I go to the human world?" She sounded like a child begging.

Ulquiorra turned back to her and moved down several steps with his eyes boring into the pathetic gaze she offered him. What help could she be to the number one Espada? An inaudible sigh escaped his throat. "No."

She opened her mouth as if she would argue, but she saw his left hand leave his pocket. She glowered at him and bowed awkwardly before bounding out of the room. Ulquiorra continued his trek down the stairs. He walked from the room and down the hall past a dozen of confused arrancars. He opened the door to her room and went inside. He pressed his back against the door and crossed his arms over his chest as he always did when he entered. Only, this time, she wasn't standing near the corner of her room staring out the window.

His hand slowly touched the soft material of the sheets on the bed. His mind flickered with vivid memories of intertwined fingers and legs while being draped in the sheets. He inhaled quickly. His left hand squeezed a clump of the pillow as he lifted it and brought it to his nose. It smelled strongly of vanilla. He dropped the pillow onto the bed and moved towards the desk sitting almost parallel on the other side of the room. He snatched up the paper on the desk. Her handwriting looked as if she had been in a hurry when she had written it. He stared at the words with a slightly open mouth.

_Ulquiorra,_

_It would seem our time of exploration and enjoyment has come to an abrupt end. While I would love to be able to be with you when this is all over, I know that my end will no doubt be with Aizen-sama's. And you did so much to prevent that. I am happy that I will be the one fighting and not you. I shudder when I think about what he would have done if he' d realized what you were doing._

_For eternity_

He crushed the sheet of paper in his hand. It had been worth it. The paper fell to the floor with a dry sound. He pressed his lips together until he felt his teeth digging into the skin. How dare she decide his fate! Slamming the door behind him, he snatched the paper up from the floor and stormed out of the room. He walked down the corridor swiftly with his white coat flying out behind him. He could imagine her stoic expression as Aizen had instructed them to follow him. Worse, he could hear her whisper-like voice tell their leader that he Ulquiorra would be of better service if left behind. He frowned and threw the door to his room open. All of it was falling to pieces. Everything. He covered his face with the sheet of paper. Where had he gone wrong? He had thought through every step! He shoved the paper into his right pocket. Something was wrong.

"Ulquiorra-sama?" A familiar voice called from the hall.

The door had been torn from the hinges and lay on the floor. He didn't understand why she bothered standing in the hall. His eyes widened a fraction as he realized whose voice it was calling to him. The anger building in him couldn't have been fought back by a legion of menos. He turned to her and snatched her into the air by her neck. He slammed her into the wall, but his face never changed from the blank expression he always wore. "I don't care." He shoved her further into the wall.

He dropped the woman to the floor. Apache wiped a smudge of blood from her lip. She stood and bowed to him as tears stained the front of her shirt.

Ulquiorra sighed. She was dead then. He could feel his heart thundering in his ears. His mouth had suddenly gone drier than he could have imagined. A strange feeling formed in his chest. He leaned forward slightly to try and alleviate the huge pressure he felt there. Silence. His green eyes slowly moved so that he gazed at the wetness on the back of his hand. He covered his face with his hand and breathed in deeply. When his hands fell, he had his same expression. The pressure in his chest was still there but lighter. He walked to the window and stared out at the moon. She had always talked about her life before she died. She had been the daughter of the leader of a clan. She had been trained in every fighting skill she had heard of because she loved swords. She had never fallen in love with a man while she was alive. Ulquiorra removed his left hand from his pocket and stared at the tuft of blonde hair wrapped in a black rubberband. He pressed it against his nose and smiled. Even a life after death is worth living, if only for a few moments.


End file.
